It was the morning of the surgery and they began early to prep me. They took my vitals, swabbed the inside of my belly button with a Q-tip to make sure there was no dirty for when they cut me open. I was nervous. For today was the day I was sure I was going to die. They put me in a wheel chair when they were done with everything they had to do prep wise, and I kissed my husband good-bye and told him that I loved him and that I always would, however; even with my fear, I made sure I told him that I would see him after the surgery was over. We kissed again and away I went. The nurse drove my wheelchair with swiftness to the the elevators. The ride seemed to take forever even though it was just a couple of floors down. We made it to the surgical wing and there seemed to be not a soul in sight. She wheeled me off to another room that had large doors. It was a little cold inside. The nurse spoke into an intercom and told them that I had arrived. At least that's what I think she said. She did say my name after all. After she was done speaking a long and loud tone came through the speakers. Like when a friend is letting you into their apartment building. The big doors opened and I noticed a line of people rearing to go for their surgeries. All in wheel chairs and the blue hospital pajamas. Some were sitting patiently and others were putting on their hair nets they had to wear for surgery. I noticed that a frail old man with glasses and a bald head was ahead of me. He had a smile on his face. I thought to myself, if he can do this, so can I. I took a deep breath and let it out. I was going to have my potentially cancerous tumors removed and I was going to get my life back, I thought to myself. The line moved. Patients were being whisked away to their surgical rooms. I had to sit and wait just a little longer and put my hair net on while my nurse changed her shoes (in Japan you change shoes when entering a bathroom, certain buildings or in a sanitary area or in some buildings) and put her hair net on. My heart was beating out of my chest. I was nervous. My turn came and I was driven to my surgical room. There was a hall of large silver doors with big black numbers on them. I was too nervous to even pay attention to what number room I was in.
While I was being wheeled in I noticed the table I was going to be laid onto for surgery. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. I was sure my nurse heard my heart then. I was instructed to lay on the table and try to relax. Soft music played in the background and the surgical staff all worked quickly. They placed some sticky patches on my breasts and chest to monitor my heart and my breathing. They placed and oxygen indicator on my finger. They also placed an oxygen mask on my face. I began to cry. Was this the last thing I was going to see before I died? Was I going to die? Was the surgery going to be successful? Millions of questions filled my head. The staff noticed I was crying and stopped what they were doing to console me. It helped because I wiped away my tears and I told myself that this needed to be done. They continued what they were doing and told me to breathe. I knew this was the sleeping part. I said to myself and God that I loved Travis and thanked God for everything I had in life. Soon I was in a deep sleep, not feeling any pain.
I woke up. I didn't die. I remember saying over and over the my hip hurt, until the doctor gave me some pain medicine and I was soon asleep again. When I finally came around, my husband told me that I had lost 3 liters of blood in surgery and that I was going to have to have a blood transfusion. I was shocked. I had a feeling something bad was going to happen during surgery and I was right. After the blood transfusion I seemed to have a lot more energy and the color in my face and body came back. It's amazing what the human body can go through. After the transfusion the doctor told me that the next day he would like me to try to stand. I thought he had to be crazy. I just had this big surgery where my abdomen was cut open and my anus sewed shut and a colostomy bag put onto my stomach and he wants me to try to stand? No way was I going to be able to accomplish that, but I guess I had no choice but to try though. I wasn't in much pain, so maybe it was possible, I remember thinking. The next day I did it. I stood up. I was so proud of myself and so were the doctors. They wanted me to try to take a step. I did. They wanted me to try to take one more onto the scale. I couldn't. It was too hard. I laid back down. I was so tired. I never thought that standing and taking a step could make you tired but they did. I had to wear an oxygen mask at night, which I hated so I often would put it on my forehead or under my chin and when I would hear the door to my room slide open I would quickly put it over my mouth. Most of the time I didn't care and the nurses would see it and laugh and put it back over my mouth. For almost a week I had to wear this, because my oxygen level was a little low. It was also hard to wear the mask because I had a tube that ran down from my nose to my stomach. This was to suck any bile out of my stomach and to see if I had bleeding inside. This too I wore for almost a week. When the time came to remove it, the doctor told me that if I threw up I had to get it placed back in. I tried with all of my might not to vomit when he was removing it. Thankfully, all of my hard work paid off. When he pulled this long green tube out of my nose bile from my stomach came with it. It too was green. Disgusting.
I was hooked up to an I.V. that had a bag hooked up to it that fed me the nutrients I needed so I wouldn't suffer from malnutrition. I was hooked up to that bag for a week. No food for a week. I thought for sure I was going to starve, but amazingly I didn't feel hungry at all. After the week of not eating it was really hard for me to eat normal food. The doctor started me off on soft food diet such as porridge and yogurts and then introduced me into a hard food diet about a week after that. I found that my taste buds really didn't care for anything except fruit, and that I was full rather quickly and that my mouth didn't really want to work and I didn't want to swallow correctly.
As time went by with my recovery I was slow;y getting stronger and stronger. I often walked the halls and walked around the room, trying to regain strength in my legs. I didn't want any clots either. Even though I had those long white pressure socks and the “boots” they put on me at night that would squeeze your feet. I hated the sounds they made. Drove me nuts. I sat once for four days with them on. I wanted to cry. The noise was torture. Hum Puff Sssss, Hum Puff Ssss, Hum Puff Ssss. Over and over. When the nurse took them off it was a sense of relief.
In 2008 I had a shunt placed in my head for a rare condition called Pseudo tumor Cerebri or also known as Inter-cranial Hypertension Disorder. It caused me many problems such as: high blood pressure, migraines, nausea and uncontrollable vomiting, “static” vision, in and out of blindness and difficulty breathing. I had to get the shunt place to alleviate pressure from my head neck and back. The problems were caused from too much spinal fluid built up in those locations. Because I had abdominal surgery and the bottom of the shunt sat in my abdomen the doctors had to lead the end of the shunt to the outside of my stomach. It dripped into a bag and they had to manually drain it. They did this because they were scared that because I have a colostomy bag that it might get infected from fecal matter, so they didn't want to put it back in.
After a few weeks of monitoring my shunt, they decided that they wanted to give me an AV (Arteriouvenous) shunt which runs from my brain to an artery near my heart to where spinal fluid build up can properly drain. This meant I would have to get another surgery, although it would be minor. They would just have to cut open the scar on my head to adjust it and cut a small mark on my neck to route it to my heart. The recuperation time was very short.
When I was finally healed, my doctors told me that it was time to start radiation. I was to have 25, 15 minute medium strength rounds, once a day, Monday through Friday. I went to the radiology department where I met an older man with dark black hair combed to the side, glasses and a button up shirt and khakis. He was a nice man and moved rather quickly. He informed me that we would have to go to a room and get fitted for my mat I would be laying on during radiation. He then went into a small room and grabbed a large, thin, blue foam mat. It looked like a mat that kids would sleep on in Kindergarten or play on in gym class.
When we got to the other room there was a large machine that looked similar to a CT or MRI machine and a tall metal table. I was to take off my pants and shoes and put on a rectangular piece of cloth. It resembled cheese cloth and it was to cover my buttocks and my private area, kind of like a sumo wrestler's belt, but without the waist part. I hopped up onto the table on which the blue mat laid on and instantly I felt the part I was sitting on deflate. I was told to lay down and I did and the radiologist and three other people started forming the mat around my body. The radiologist told me that the reason they were doing this was because when I come in for radiation that I am to lay perfectly still and in the same spot each time, because the radiation has to hit the infected area the same each time. Once they were finished I was instructed to go back to my room.
TO BE CONTINUED....
(Today Travis and I will be going with my dad, brother and his girlfriend to a chili cook off. It's a fundraiser for the VFW and the American Legion that my dad is part of. My step mom would go but she's not feeling too well. I am still fighting a cold but I am doing a little better each day. Tonight Travis and I are going to sleep over at Nick and Jasmine's house. Their neighbors/friends want to meet us, which is fine. I'm not depressed so much today just kind of in different to what is going on around me. I'm not in any pain, thank God because I don't want to spend every weekend in the hospital. Tomorrow we are doing a family Christmas, because my parent's were waiting until Travis and I got home from Japan, so that should be nice.)
While I was being wheeled in I noticed the table I was going to be laid onto for surgery. BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM. I was sure my nurse heard my heart then. I was instructed to lay on the table and try to relax. Soft music played in the background and the surgical staff all worked quickly. They placed some sticky patches on my breasts and chest to monitor my heart and my breathing. They placed and oxygen indicator on my finger. They also placed an oxygen mask on my face. I began to cry. Was this the last thing I was going to see before I died? Was I going to die? Was the surgery going to be successful? Millions of questions filled my head. The staff noticed I was crying and stopped what they were doing to console me. It helped because I wiped away my tears and I told myself that this needed to be done. They continued what they were doing and told me to breathe. I knew this was the sleeping part. I said to myself and God that I loved Travis and thanked God for everything I had in life. Soon I was in a deep sleep, not feeling any pain.
I woke up. I didn't die. I remember saying over and over the my hip hurt, until the doctor gave me some pain medicine and I was soon asleep again. When I finally came around, my husband told me that I had lost 3 liters of blood in surgery and that I was going to have to have a blood transfusion. I was shocked. I had a feeling something bad was going to happen during surgery and I was right. After the blood transfusion I seemed to have a lot more energy and the color in my face and body came back. It's amazing what the human body can go through. After the transfusion the doctor told me that the next day he would like me to try to stand. I thought he had to be crazy. I just had this big surgery where my abdomen was cut open and my anus sewed shut and a colostomy bag put onto my stomach and he wants me to try to stand? No way was I going to be able to accomplish that, but I guess I had no choice but to try though. I wasn't in much pain, so maybe it was possible, I remember thinking. The next day I did it. I stood up. I was so proud of myself and so were the doctors. They wanted me to try to take a step. I did. They wanted me to try to take one more onto the scale. I couldn't. It was too hard. I laid back down. I was so tired. I never thought that standing and taking a step could make you tired but they did. I had to wear an oxygen mask at night, which I hated so I often would put it on my forehead or under my chin and when I would hear the door to my room slide open I would quickly put it over my mouth. Most of the time I didn't care and the nurses would see it and laugh and put it back over my mouth. For almost a week I had to wear this, because my oxygen level was a little low. It was also hard to wear the mask because I had a tube that ran down from my nose to my stomach. This was to suck any bile out of my stomach and to see if I had bleeding inside. This too I wore for almost a week. When the time came to remove it, the doctor told me that if I threw up I had to get it placed back in. I tried with all of my might not to vomit when he was removing it. Thankfully, all of my hard work paid off. When he pulled this long green tube out of my nose bile from my stomach came with it. It too was green. Disgusting.
I was hooked up to an I.V. that had a bag hooked up to it that fed me the nutrients I needed so I wouldn't suffer from malnutrition. I was hooked up to that bag for a week. No food for a week. I thought for sure I was going to starve, but amazingly I didn't feel hungry at all. After the week of not eating it was really hard for me to eat normal food. The doctor started me off on soft food diet such as porridge and yogurts and then introduced me into a hard food diet about a week after that. I found that my taste buds really didn't care for anything except fruit, and that I was full rather quickly and that my mouth didn't really want to work and I didn't want to swallow correctly.
As time went by with my recovery I was slow;y getting stronger and stronger. I often walked the halls and walked around the room, trying to regain strength in my legs. I didn't want any clots either. Even though I had those long white pressure socks and the “boots” they put on me at night that would squeeze your feet. I hated the sounds they made. Drove me nuts. I sat once for four days with them on. I wanted to cry. The noise was torture. Hum Puff Sssss, Hum Puff Ssss, Hum Puff Ssss. Over and over. When the nurse took them off it was a sense of relief.
In 2008 I had a shunt placed in my head for a rare condition called Pseudo tumor Cerebri or also known as Inter-cranial Hypertension Disorder. It caused me many problems such as: high blood pressure, migraines, nausea and uncontrollable vomiting, “static” vision, in and out of blindness and difficulty breathing. I had to get the shunt place to alleviate pressure from my head neck and back. The problems were caused from too much spinal fluid built up in those locations. Because I had abdominal surgery and the bottom of the shunt sat in my abdomen the doctors had to lead the end of the shunt to the outside of my stomach. It dripped into a bag and they had to manually drain it. They did this because they were scared that because I have a colostomy bag that it might get infected from fecal matter, so they didn't want to put it back in.
After a few weeks of monitoring my shunt, they decided that they wanted to give me an AV (Arteriouvenous) shunt which runs from my brain to an artery near my heart to where spinal fluid build up can properly drain. This meant I would have to get another surgery, although it would be minor. They would just have to cut open the scar on my head to adjust it and cut a small mark on my neck to route it to my heart. The recuperation time was very short.
When I was finally healed, my doctors told me that it was time to start radiation. I was to have 25, 15 minute medium strength rounds, once a day, Monday through Friday. I went to the radiology department where I met an older man with dark black hair combed to the side, glasses and a button up shirt and khakis. He was a nice man and moved rather quickly. He informed me that we would have to go to a room and get fitted for my mat I would be laying on during radiation. He then went into a small room and grabbed a large, thin, blue foam mat. It looked like a mat that kids would sleep on in Kindergarten or play on in gym class.
When we got to the other room there was a large machine that looked similar to a CT or MRI machine and a tall metal table. I was to take off my pants and shoes and put on a rectangular piece of cloth. It resembled cheese cloth and it was to cover my buttocks and my private area, kind of like a sumo wrestler's belt, but without the waist part. I hopped up onto the table on which the blue mat laid on and instantly I felt the part I was sitting on deflate. I was told to lay down and I did and the radiologist and three other people started forming the mat around my body. The radiologist told me that the reason they were doing this was because when I come in for radiation that I am to lay perfectly still and in the same spot each time, because the radiation has to hit the infected area the same each time. Once they were finished I was instructed to go back to my room.
TO BE CONTINUED....
(Today Travis and I will be going with my dad, brother and his girlfriend to a chili cook off. It's a fundraiser for the VFW and the American Legion that my dad is part of. My step mom would go but she's not feeling too well. I am still fighting a cold but I am doing a little better each day. Tonight Travis and I are going to sleep over at Nick and Jasmine's house. Their neighbors/friends want to meet us, which is fine. I'm not depressed so much today just kind of in different to what is going on around me. I'm not in any pain, thank God because I don't want to spend every weekend in the hospital. Tomorrow we are doing a family Christmas, because my parent's were waiting until Travis and I got home from Japan, so that should be nice.)